What kind of a letter does one write to a sixteen-year-old boy? And her brother, nonetheless?
Today, I had a moaning competition with Marcus; he stayed home from school to puke his guts and his allergies are running rampant as San Antonio transitions into Oak pollen season and an early spring. I had a sore throat over the weekend which is turning into a cold (spring comes late in Rexburg, Idaho); I, unfortunately, had to go to class (unlike him, I'm paying for my education).
As we bemoaned our situations (he was bored being stuck at home and I was feeling overwhelmed by the ongoing internal battle of homework vs. a nap. The nap won), we got onto the topic of my blog.
It's been two weeks since I updated a post. Before you turn your judging words on me, college is hard sometimes. And in the list of "Things I would like to occupy my time doing," updating the blog comes fairly low. I'm just being honest. I'd rather be eating, sleeping, watching Netflix, spending time with my sister, reading, and wasting time on Youtube--lots and lots of time (heaven forbid I find another vlog based on a classic novel. Thanks a lot "Lizzie Bennet Diaries," "Emma Approved," and "The Autobiography of Jane Eyre").
But I digress.
Marcus informed me that he actually read my week of posts. All of them. I couldn't believe it. What on earth did I have to say that would interest a teenage boy? I think the only reason he read them initially was because I wrote them and he loves me. He's very supportive. I'm hoping that in the future he reads them because he likes what I have to say.
So then--what to say, specifically, to him? Or to the generic nearly-seventeen-year-old?
The only problem is, Marcus is about as far from generic as possible. Don't get me wrong; he's hit a couple of cars since he got his license, he loves to date, and parties it up as much as a Mormon kid can. But there are some key differences between him and other teenage boys I've met.
He's popular, but not interested in his looks. He doesn't spend his money on the latest fad (unless it has to do with music/guitars) and I think he would rather be caught dead strolling through the mall. He's extremely social and organizes parties, get-togethers, and group dates every weekend it seems. He's in another family's family band. He's goofy, and witty, and has a sense of humor unrivaled (except maybe by Michelle, two years younger than him). He can shred it on a guitar.
He gets along with EVERYBODY, even people he dislikes. His current English teacher is the one who drove me to tears more than once when I was a junior in high school. He went into the school year in September with a mild dose of hostility against her, on my behalf, but he doesn't show it, as far as I can tell. He's even one of her favorites. He gets along with old people, babies, other teens, even college-aged kids (who, generally, want nothing to do with a seventeen-year-old boy). He's the type of person who believes strongly in making people feel at ease around him, which is why he is so generally liked.
So what advice can I give him? At first glance, I have nothing to offer. I'm his big sister. I'm about to graduate from college. Where he is gregarious, I'm a chronic homebody. (He's also about eight feel taller than me, which doesn't seem relevant until I try to tell him what to do. Then he towers over me and I take a big, gulping breath, knowing I will have to outsmart him because there's no way I can beat him up anymore. Dang, male hormones.)
Luckily for me, there is advice I can give to him. Even with all of his great attributes, he isn't perfect. When I told my dad that I was writing this post about Marcus, he said to me "There's a lot of things that boy isn't good at. For one, he's hit more cars than any of you did in the short amount of time he's been driving. He can also be very, very stupid." And it's true. Like any teenage boy, Marcus can be impulsive, idiotic, and annoying.
So here's my advice.
Of all the things I want to teach my little brother, I want to teach him the importance of happiness. It may seem like a vague, generic answer; let me explain.
Happiness comes from many things: doing good, following dreams, exploring the unknown (this one's a stretch for some people). Let me elaborate on each of these.
Doing good: It's easy for Mormons to fall into ruts where they feel like they are doing everything they can but feel like they aren't moving forward in life. This can be tragic because they might become complacent with their life and never strive to be better. There is a strange sort of pleasure that comes from doing the right thing as much as you possibly can. There's a variety of ways where you can obtain this: you can do service for someone, you can tell the truth when every fiber of your being doesn't want to, you can do a chore without being told to (#ShoutoutToMomma), and just be helpful in general when people need it. I want Marcus to realize that these things, and so much more, can add up to a fulfilling life where you feel like you serving God in the way that you're supposed to. With that said, however, don't feel the need to be perfect all the time. It's impossible, and you're going to kill yourself trying to be perfect, and then you won't be happy.
Following Dreams: If I had to list the dreams I think Marcus has, it would be these things: continually cultivating his talents in as many instruments as he can get his hands on, particularly string instruments and most specifically the guitar; serve a full-time mission and be an honorable, productive missionary, like his brother (and it wouldn't hurt to go somewhere awesome like Germany or Fiji); I also think Marcus wants, more than anything, to have a lot of kids. Marcus loves kids and he will be one of those dads that you envy because his kids will be fun, funny, and talented, with a dad just the same. Now, I'm sure there are dozens of other dreams that Marcus has, buried deep in his heart that I don't know, that maybe he's never told anyone. And there will be dreams that he won't realize until later in life. My wish for him would be to follow each of these dreams if he can. Yes, it's hard to do that with certain dreams (like becoming a rock star) if one also wants to be able to support a family and actually spend time with them, or have a calling and be able to go to church every week. However, if he can find the balance between dreams and reality, he'll find true happiness.
Exploring the Unknown: This is a stretch for most people. I don't know if it's a stretch for Marcus, but I do know that until about five months ago it was unfathomable for me. I like everyday, regular occurrences. No surprises, no changes--I hated change, and still do to some degree. But when I was forced to go to a foreign country with little help besides my own brains, I discovered my potential. It was nerve-wracking and downright painful (jet-lag is awful, I'm telling you), but afterwards I felt invincible. I want him to have that feeling. I want him to travel to a foreign country with nothing but a hundred American dollars and have to use his wits and skills to make do. It sucks while it's happening, but the result is so rewarding. (You know what would be awesome? Just Marcus and me, hopping on a plane one day to Ireland, just for the heck of it. I wish I had enough money to do things like that with the people I love and enjoy spending time with)
So that's it. My little tribute to Marcus. It's not much, but it was fun to write and fun to evaluate my relationship with him. I hope he tries hard to be a good man as he grows up.
TGWLAE
Today, I had a moaning competition with Marcus; he stayed home from school to puke his guts and his allergies are running rampant as San Antonio transitions into Oak pollen season and an early spring. I had a sore throat over the weekend which is turning into a cold (spring comes late in Rexburg, Idaho); I, unfortunately, had to go to class (unlike him, I'm paying for my education).
As we bemoaned our situations (he was bored being stuck at home and I was feeling overwhelmed by the ongoing internal battle of homework vs. a nap. The nap won), we got onto the topic of my blog.
It's been two weeks since I updated a post. Before you turn your judging words on me, college is hard sometimes. And in the list of "Things I would like to occupy my time doing," updating the blog comes fairly low. I'm just being honest. I'd rather be eating, sleeping, watching Netflix, spending time with my sister, reading, and wasting time on Youtube--lots and lots of time (heaven forbid I find another vlog based on a classic novel. Thanks a lot "Lizzie Bennet Diaries," "Emma Approved," and "The Autobiography of Jane Eyre").
But I digress.
Marcus informed me that he actually read my week of posts. All of them. I couldn't believe it. What on earth did I have to say that would interest a teenage boy? I think the only reason he read them initially was because I wrote them and he loves me. He's very supportive. I'm hoping that in the future he reads them because he likes what I have to say.
So then--what to say, specifically, to him? Or to the generic nearly-seventeen-year-old?
The only problem is, Marcus is about as far from generic as possible. Don't get me wrong; he's hit a couple of cars since he got his license, he loves to date, and parties it up as much as a Mormon kid can. But there are some key differences between him and other teenage boys I've met.
He's popular, but not interested in his looks. He doesn't spend his money on the latest fad (unless it has to do with music/guitars) and I think he would rather be caught dead strolling through the mall. He's extremely social and organizes parties, get-togethers, and group dates every weekend it seems. He's in another family's family band. He's goofy, and witty, and has a sense of humor unrivaled (except maybe by Michelle, two years younger than him). He can shred it on a guitar.
He gets along with EVERYBODY, even people he dislikes. His current English teacher is the one who drove me to tears more than once when I was a junior in high school. He went into the school year in September with a mild dose of hostility against her, on my behalf, but he doesn't show it, as far as I can tell. He's even one of her favorites. He gets along with old people, babies, other teens, even college-aged kids (who, generally, want nothing to do with a seventeen-year-old boy). He's the type of person who believes strongly in making people feel at ease around him, which is why he is so generally liked.
So what advice can I give him? At first glance, I have nothing to offer. I'm his big sister. I'm about to graduate from college. Where he is gregarious, I'm a chronic homebody. (He's also about eight feel taller than me, which doesn't seem relevant until I try to tell him what to do. Then he towers over me and I take a big, gulping breath, knowing I will have to outsmart him because there's no way I can beat him up anymore. Dang, male hormones.)
Luckily for me, there is advice I can give to him. Even with all of his great attributes, he isn't perfect. When I told my dad that I was writing this post about Marcus, he said to me "There's a lot of things that boy isn't good at. For one, he's hit more cars than any of you did in the short amount of time he's been driving. He can also be very, very stupid." And it's true. Like any teenage boy, Marcus can be impulsive, idiotic, and annoying.
So here's my advice.
Of all the things I want to teach my little brother, I want to teach him the importance of happiness. It may seem like a vague, generic answer; let me explain.
Happiness comes from many things: doing good, following dreams, exploring the unknown (this one's a stretch for some people). Let me elaborate on each of these.
Doing good: It's easy for Mormons to fall into ruts where they feel like they are doing everything they can but feel like they aren't moving forward in life. This can be tragic because they might become complacent with their life and never strive to be better. There is a strange sort of pleasure that comes from doing the right thing as much as you possibly can. There's a variety of ways where you can obtain this: you can do service for someone, you can tell the truth when every fiber of your being doesn't want to, you can do a chore without being told to (#ShoutoutToMomma), and just be helpful in general when people need it. I want Marcus to realize that these things, and so much more, can add up to a fulfilling life where you feel like you serving God in the way that you're supposed to. With that said, however, don't feel the need to be perfect all the time. It's impossible, and you're going to kill yourself trying to be perfect, and then you won't be happy.
Following Dreams: If I had to list the dreams I think Marcus has, it would be these things: continually cultivating his talents in as many instruments as he can get his hands on, particularly string instruments and most specifically the guitar; serve a full-time mission and be an honorable, productive missionary, like his brother (and it wouldn't hurt to go somewhere awesome like Germany or Fiji); I also think Marcus wants, more than anything, to have a lot of kids. Marcus loves kids and he will be one of those dads that you envy because his kids will be fun, funny, and talented, with a dad just the same. Now, I'm sure there are dozens of other dreams that Marcus has, buried deep in his heart that I don't know, that maybe he's never told anyone. And there will be dreams that he won't realize until later in life. My wish for him would be to follow each of these dreams if he can. Yes, it's hard to do that with certain dreams (like becoming a rock star) if one also wants to be able to support a family and actually spend time with them, or have a calling and be able to go to church every week. However, if he can find the balance between dreams and reality, he'll find true happiness.
Exploring the Unknown: This is a stretch for most people. I don't know if it's a stretch for Marcus, but I do know that until about five months ago it was unfathomable for me. I like everyday, regular occurrences. No surprises, no changes--I hated change, and still do to some degree. But when I was forced to go to a foreign country with little help besides my own brains, I discovered my potential. It was nerve-wracking and downright painful (jet-lag is awful, I'm telling you), but afterwards I felt invincible. I want him to have that feeling. I want him to travel to a foreign country with nothing but a hundred American dollars and have to use his wits and skills to make do. It sucks while it's happening, but the result is so rewarding. (You know what would be awesome? Just Marcus and me, hopping on a plane one day to Ireland, just for the heck of it. I wish I had enough money to do things like that with the people I love and enjoy spending time with)
So that's it. My little tribute to Marcus. It's not much, but it was fun to write and fun to evaluate my relationship with him. I hope he tries hard to be a good man as he grows up.
TGWLAE